


Welcome to the Neighborhood

by hollanders



Series: Welcome to the Neighborhood 'Verse [1]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Boys Being Boys, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Suburbia, this is purely crackhead content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 01:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15831081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollanders/pseuds/hollanders
Summary: Thomas makes it his personal mission to introduce the new boy-next-door to the insane life of their suburban cul-de-sac.





	Welcome to the Neighborhood

**Author's Note:**

> or: the gladers living in the hell of suburbia and yknow, just guys bein dudes ;)

“Have you heard that there’s a boy moving here soon?”

As Minho speaks, smoke escapes from his mouth, drifting lazily towards the ceiling only to be whisked into the fan and dispersed throughout the room. Thomas and him are lying on their backs on Thomas’ bed, sharing a blunt that Minho stole from his older sister. The windows are open, and the summer heat is in full force, making their foreheads shiny and their brains pleasantly foggy. It’s the perfect day to get baked (in the literal and metaphorical sense).

“No,” Thomas replies. He’s not really concentrating, just staring at the raised, bumpy effect of his ceiling. God, he hates how that looks. He tried to tell his mom, when they were at the Home Depot, that he just wanted a flat drywall -but god forbid she have something in her house that wasn’t textured- and so they went with the “popcorn ceiling”. And it was fucking ugly.

Sometimes he thinks he hates his mom. Like, full-on despises her. Right now, he’s supposed to be playing a round of golf at the country club, an activity she had been forcing on him since the second grade, and that he’d been weaseling out of since the sixth. He’s not even allowed to go near Minho’s house, whose family Mrs. Green has a long-standing feud with, after Minho’s mother upstaged her annual garden party. If his mother could see him now, her hopes and dreams of a picture-perfect valedictorian-turned-lawyer would be crushed. She would probably have a heart attack. Maybe he would be glad. 

Minho fumbles around for the blunt, takes another hit. He’s still talking about this new kid, who’s apparently moving into the house right next to Thomas’. “You’re gonna be neighbors,” Minho says. “Maybe you can introduce him around, throw a little party celebrating his arrival.” He snickers. “Mrs. Thomas Green.”

That conjures up a mental image of himself in one of his mother’s silly hats, the floppy straw number with the long ribbon and the peacock feathers. It makes him irrationally mad, and he reaches over and punches Minho in the arm. 

“Hey, ow!” Minho yells. “That hurt, you asshole.”

“Sorry.” He wasn’t really. Why was he angry again? Whatever, it didn’t matter. “Why’s this kid even coming here? Nothing ever happens in this stupid cul-de-sac.” Thomas asks.

“Beats me. I heard he’s moving from San Francisco. Man, if I were there I’d never leave. They’ve got Cali girls, and dominatrixes…”

“The Golden Gate Bridge,” Thomas inputs helpfully.

Minho eyes him like he’s an idiot. “Yeah, that too.”

“How do you know all this, anyway?” Thomas asks suspiciously. It isn’t like Minho to know so much information about one particular subject. He’s pretty much the epitome of a jock: during last year’s track state championships he won every category that he raced in. He’s the closest thing Glade High School has to a god. 

Minho visibly shudders. “Brenda told me.”

“Brenda” is a foster-care runaway who lives in the basement of Jorge, their neighborhood drug-dealer. As far as they can tell, she spends her days hacking into the databases of foreign governments and leaving profanity-laden comments on YouTube videos. One of her favorite pastimes is to post a particularly controversial statement on a community forum, sit back, and watch the discourse start itself. Once, Minho swore he saw her buy LSD off of a guy on the dark web. They’re both terrified to death of her. 

“Oh,” says Thomas. He’s surprised Brenda even talked to Minho, much less volunteered this information. 

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she’s into me. I might ask her for a blowjob.”

“You do that, and she’ll bite your dick off,” Thomas says. Minho chuckles softly, and then doesn’t say anything for a very long time. When Thomas looks over at him, he’s asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this instead of sleeping so any mistakes are all my fault. also this is so short and no newt yet im sorryyyyyy but never fear he will arrive soon, consider this a tasteful sample of the bullshit to come ;)
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed that absolute ridiculous garbage leave me nice comments to wake up to and maybe I'll write more :)))))))))


End file.
